Tough Questions...

Saturday was the Corps Focus Day for the Montclair Citadel. The tough questions were asked, and the delicate hearts were handled... delicately.

For any church going through a debriefing process of programmes, attitudes and heart issues, they will discover that it is a much more painful process than we would like to hope. The morning session was concluded by a prayer time; I would like to tell you about it, but I know that I really mustn't; it would be disrespectful. Some things are to be kept secret, not from shame but so as not to cheapen what was shared; the memories are protected and can be indulged privately. I must resist the temptation to "overshare."

At work just now we are reading though Bill Thrall's "True Faced," a book about trusting God and others with who God says we are. It is common to hear "ouch" out of my mouth as I turn the pages; every page seems to nail me in some level. From the first page of the book Thrall states;

“God’s dreams are ultimately not really about you. Oh, don’t misunderstand. They’ll bring you some of the best days of your life; you will be fulfilled beyond any imaginable expectations. But God’s dreams take form only when they are about others, for the benefit of others. Loving them. Guiding them. Serving them. Influencing them. Filling their heads with dreams and hope. There are no other types of God dreams. Nothing less or else will compel, attract, or seem worthy of this God heart within you. Everything else will always, ultimately, taste chalky and dry.”



Are we, as Salvationists about serving others? I am not trying to stir the pot, if I could bleed yellow, red and blue, I promise, I would; but I do often think, who are we serving? I recognise that decisions are always made at an individual level; as an individual I can abide by the law, or not. Stand true to my Articles of War, or not. The mass identity of any large body is ALWAYS affected by the individual attitudes of those within the body. So I ask you, the member of whatever group you are found to be a part of; why are you there? Really, why are you there?Surely, you are bound to receive something, but is that what you are there for, what you can get? Can we truly expected fulfilment from others; can we not have fulfilment in ourselves? Is that all God has in store for us? My panic is that that is what we look for; you know the saying; "you get out what you put in," it tough, it calls for a lot unselfish acts; but it is so very true. The Army Mother said this:

“Show the world a real, living, self-sacrificing, hard-working, toiling, triumphing religion, and the world will be influenced by it; but anything short of that they will turn round and spit upon.”

Well, firstly, I'd like to say that I love that woman! (When I get to glory she and I will be in the Marks' & Spencers coffee shop drinking skinny latte's and eating clotted cream scones.) Secondly, what a challenge! To be authentic; I read recently, "Integrity is what you are in the dark." Hmm... what does our mind think on when we are not wearing our S's? Is it good? Is it pure? Is it lovely? Is it for your good or the good of the Kingdom?

Dunkin Donuts

Haha, very tired, simple things were hilarious...

Found this... "Even though..."

"Even though there's $ owing and its hard to come by;
even though my sins keep tripping me up,
even though my brother's heart seems like stone to you... Yet I will be grateful for Your mercy and love - for your patience and gentleness, for your promises to me, for your Holy Spirit that I am becoming more aware of."

"Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Saviour.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights."
Habakuk 3:18-19

I found this double sided on an index card inside one of my books; I had put the book in prayer rooms at various places; SLMC, Montclair, OOB and TAM - so lots of people could have written it, but only I got to find it, and keep it. Yes! PRAISE HIM! It's now taped to my desk - the Prayer side up; it was a wee gift to me today.

The Lord has been teaching me that if He says something instead of me questioning Him on it, (no faith required here,) I have to thank Him for it as if it has already happened, (MOVE ON OUTTA THIS TOWN MR MOUNTAIN!) It's a stretch, and a painful, humiliating one at that, but, God is not man that He should lie, not human that He should change His mind.

Sojourner, He has not changed His mind on your brother, it is His desire, He loves him, you love him; fill those prayer bowls with shouts of joy; there is no sweeter incense; when the tsunami comes, (and it's a-coming, HALLELUJAH!) we will know that it was because of a faithful God, a God who is not wasteful; your brother is not driftwood! So praise Him!

Have a good un!

How much is too much?

I started this blog yesterday, I hope that I will finish it today. I've changed everything about it, but I will finish it today. The title too belongs to yesterday, didn't want to change it, felt wrong. Today seems to be a day of finishing things. Yesterday was not a great day - if there was something stupid to say, I said it; if there was something stupid to do, it was surely me who did it; if there was someone to be unfaithful to God - here am I Lord send me? It was surely not the Lord who led me to my unfaithfulness to Him, but I know He is going to 'let that be a lesson to me.' He's not wasteful :)

I was in the thick of feeling physically exhausted - I have NEVER felt like this, could not sit, could not stand, it was terrible. You know when people are talking to you and you know that you should respond to them and yet, you would like to smack them for asking you a question in the first place? That was me yesterday morning at around 9 am. (Crazier than craziness is that by 10 am, I was at the Holidome singing away, front and slightly right of centre... crazy huh?) I was physically weak, and utterly exhausted; man, as I write this a song that I sang in Singing Company comes back;

"When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength is gone and the day is half done
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Fathers full giving has only begun."

I hope I remember that correctly, you get the message though, yeah? I dropped the ball and gave up, and just like God, He saved my chubby wee butt! Awesome God!

"Whatever our faith says God is, He will be" Burn... This was the last line in my devotional this a.m. - that isn't even the first time that I have read that; it's so true with so many of our relationships, whatever we know of ourselves, we know of other people. If we are slanderous, then others will be slanderous; if we are short-tempered, others will be short-tempered; if we are graceless, then others will be graceless; if we are unforgiving, then others will unforgiving. They are the eyes with which we view life, because that is what we have experienced. God is like no one else we have known, He doesn't fit the cookie cutter that we have for the remainder of the population. And oh how good that news is! Cause seriously, I can't have my God as weak as I am, as unforgiving as I am, as manipulative as I am, as selfish as I am, as weak as I am; I wouldn't like Him.

Maybe I will have learned my lesson - He split the seas, brought the dead back to life; when I'm feeling crappy, He will ride it through with me, that's what His track record tells me.